One more casualty of the pandemic has been that divorce rates are increasing.

I’d like to speak to those people. Please don’t give up, at least not easily. Consider seeing a therapist – talk to your pastor, your family doctor, a good friend, about who to see.

If counseling is not practical there are some steps you can try on your own, if you really work at it.

  • Set aside a daily time to talk. Stick to it.
  • Cultivate a workable approach. Focus on listening and understanding, with patience. This is not the time for accusations, Interrogations, or venting.
  • If there were prior clashes, try to set them aside temporarily.
  • Focus on Events and Emotions: “When (Event) happened, I felt (Emotion). This will definitely take practice, especially the emotions.
  • Ask yourself if you are still in love. This is good to know.
  • Begin with telling why you fell in love. Don’t be afraid.
  • Can you recreate some of that? Can you go back to the same place, the same activity, or at least recall it?
  • If there is one thing that must change or you cannot stay, be explicit.
  • Focus entirely on the One Thing. Try really hard. Everything may depend on it.
  • This is when you return to the past. Use the skills you’ve been practicing.
  • Not getting anywhere? This is when you reconsider a professional- you need a third party.

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